Best. Thing. Ever.

“Come now, big brother. You know you have to tell me all about it so that I can—”

“Mock me?”

“Yes, but also make you feel better. I don’t like when my big brother is upset.”

“She thinks I’m psychotic.”

“The girl you were stalking?”

“I wasn’t stalking her. I just happen to like her bear claws.”

Kat cringed. That sounded so strange out loud.

“But she did remember you?”

“She hugged me when she saw me and said ‘thank you.’ ”

“Hugging!” She patted his T-shirt–covered back. “That’s good!”

“A hug that said ‘thank you for saving my life.’ Not a hug of ‘I want your winged babies.’ ”

“Awww, sweetie. First off, we both know Odin won’t let you have winged babies with anyone whose ancestors didn’t plunder and rape like they’re supposed to. And second . . . A hug is a hug. It’s a starting point. You’re always so goddamn negative!”

“The woman thought I had brain trauma–related schizophrenia. I’m not even sure that’s the correct term, but that’s what she basically thought I had.”

“If you’d let me and the Valkyries cut that hair and deal with your beard—”

“ No. ”

“You know the girls will be gentle.”

“The Valkyries don’t know the meaning of that word, and I like my beard. And my hair.”

“That’s fine but since this isn’t the eighth century, you will have to expect people to occasionally think you appear crazy.”

“What does that mean?”

“Remember when that casting director tried for months to hire you for that big-budget Viking movie? She chased you all over town, trying to get you to sign, offering you six-figure deals and your own trailer even though you were going to play the guy who did nothing more than just stand behind the lead being a Viking? She was even going to have production help you get in the actors’ union. Simply because you looked exactly like the Viking she needed for their movie.”

“Because I am a Viking.”

“Yes, but—”

“So are you.”

“I know.”

“So’s Mom and Dad.”

Kat counted to five. She needed to count to ten with some of the other Ravens, but for her brother, she was able to calm herself down in five.

“Five. What I mean is if you’re going to go around Southern California, looking like an escapee from the Viking factory, then be prepared to have things assumed about you.”

Vig growled and buried his face deeper into his mattress.

“Look, instead ofbeing depressed about this, you need to see the positive side.”

“What positive side?”

“Now she knows that you’re not mentally ill, which means you need a little fixing up. Women love to fix up shit. Remember that guy I dated for three years? The one you threw an ax at?”

“I hated him.”

“He was a fixer-upper. That’s why I stuck it out so long. I thought to myself, ‘I can fix this guy.’ I couldn’t, because he was an asshole—”

“Which is why I threw the ax at his head.”

“—but I still tried.”

“But there’s nothing wrong with me. I like me.”

“Of course you do.”

“I know what that tone means when Mama uses it on Papa and I know what it means when you use it on me.”

“Mama and I don’t know what you mean. But—”

“No, Katja. I’m not going to go to her like I’m some pathetic male looking for a woman to do his laundry and teach him how not to frighten people. Especially since I like frightening people.”

“Okay. Fair enough. Then how about if you help her out instead?”

The pillow moved a bit and one pitch-black eye peered at her. “What do you mean?”

“Look, we all know how the Crows work. They’re gonna throw that girl in the pit and let her sink or swim on her own. You and me . . . we were raised from birth to be Raven and Valkyrie. She wasn’t. You said she was former military, and the U.S. military spells all that shit out for their people. It’s none of this, ‘Figure it out and good luck because that’s the Viking Way.’ But that’s how the Crows operate. The Crows that do well stay with their Clan and prosper. The ones who don’t . . . I heard they ship them off to somewhere in Arizona to commune with magic stones or something. That will not work for anyone who’s ex-military.”

“Former.”

“What?”

“She was a Marine. And I heard her say that you’re never an ex-Marine. You’re a former Marine. Because once a Marine, always a Marine.”

Kat sighed. “And you don’t think a girl who tells people that while pouring coffee won’t need some help with these Crows? Seriously?”

“I don’t know. Things have been so tense with the Crows since Josef ’s divorce from Chloe was finalized. Although that probably has a lot to do with the protection orders they have against each other.”

“Come on, big brother. You’ve never let a little thing like rules and regulations and U.S. constitutional law stop you from getting what you want. So why would you let the Crows hating us and the Ravens hating them stop you now?”