But last night…I wasn’t scared. Or apprehensive. Or even remotely uneasy about the prospect. Instead, I had an overwhelming need to let Beck take possession of a part of my body that never really belonged to me. It belonged to one of my unknown rapists, and I realized that it was the only part of me left that was still metaphorically unhealed since I met Beck.

He, of course, wasn’t as keen on the idea.

He reacted badly, actually. Backed away from me and shook his head. “No, Sela.”

“Yes,” I insisted. “I want you to.”

He opened his mouth to protest. I know it was because he was afraid of hurting me or maybe dredging up terrible memories, but I merely stepped up to him, pushed the objects into his hand, and said, “I trust you.”

Beck’s face crumbled and his eyes softened, and he took the items from me. He then gave me the most gentle kiss I’ve ever experienced, and then he proceeded to show me how caring a man can be to a woman.

Thinking about what he did to me…my body.

The intense orgasm he wrung out of me while showing me just how pleasing that kind of play can be to a woman.

Beck North claimed that last part of my body as his own with soft words, gentle touches, and a little glass toy that felt as unbelievably good as it felt naughty.

“Want your Christmas present?” he asks as he rubs his stubbled chin over my shoulder, producing a full body shiver.

Hmmmm…just thinking about last night. “If it involves you fucking me right now, in this position, then yes…I want it very much.”

I feel the rumble of laughter in Beck’s chest, even as I feel him start to get hard behind me. “That was not the present I was talking about, but I think I can oblige.”

And then he does.

His hand slides down from my stomach, right between my legs, where his magical fingers find me wet. They work skillfully, causing my hips to grind back against him, always seeking more with this man.

Knowing he’ll give me exactly what I need.

Then he’s pushing my outer leg up, sliding his own body down just a bit, and angling his cock to slip into me from behind. I moan in pure bliss as he fills me up, body and soul.

Beck fucks me slowly as he’s spooned around me, the arm that my head is resting on coming up to curve across my chest and hold me tightly. His other hand gripping the back of my thigh firmly to pin me in place. I’m restrained by his strength and the feelings he’s causing within me, content to let him leisurely make Christmas morning love to me that is oh so different from the kinky shit we did last night.

He takes me higher and higher, whispering sweet words in my ear, until I fall apart in his arms. He splinters at the same time, groaning deeply his appreciation of the moment that we share.

When the last tremors of our twin orgasms fade, and he drops my leg back down into place, he hugs me tightly, and I have never felt more complete and secure as I do now. Not because of what we just shared, but because my core essence as a human being finally recognizes with complete clarity its other half.

“I think I’ve fallen in love,” I whisper to the sunshine now pouring in through the floor-to-ceiling windows. It seems safer releasing that revelation indirectly, but I can’t prevent the words from coming out.

“I hope it’s with me,” Beck whispers back.

Smiling, I nod my head. “Yeah…it’s with you.”

His arms tighten around me more, nearly to the point of cutting off my breath. I don’t care though, because his words fill me with life. “That’s fortuitous…because I love you too.”

—

I look at Beck carefully, to see if something about him has changed in the last twenty minutes since we just shared the L-word with each other. It was unplanned…unscripted and totally unbelievable.

I mean…did that just happen?

After a little cuddling, we both cleaned up and dressed in sweatpants and T-shirts. I look at Beck now, with his hair sticking up all over the place and sexy stubble on his jaw and chin, reaching under the tree to pull out the two wrapped presents.

A small box from him is wrapped in silver with a green bow. It looks like a jewelry box and my heartbeat is tripping at the thought.

My gift to him is larger in a flat box about twenty inches square. It’s wrapped in rustic brown paper with an old-fashioned Christmas tree design and tied in thin red ribbon that I curled on the ends.

I sit on the couch after setting down my tea and Beck’s coffee. He joins me as I cross my legs underneath me, setting the small gift in my hands. Then he sits beside me, kicking his long legs out to rest his feet on the coffee table, resting my gift to him on his lap.

“You first,” I say as I nod down at the present he’s holding.

“Okay,” he responds with a boyish grin, and starts pulling hard on the ribbon. It immediately stretches enough that he can work it free of the corners, and his fingers are tearing into the paper. The brown packing box underneath is nondescript and he glances at me briefly with curiosity. I just smile back and watch as he pulls at the tape securing one end of the box.

Then he’s reaching inside and pulling out the picture collage frame that I bought earlier in the week while he was at work. It has a black finish and glass-framed cutouts that provide room for five four-by-six pictures, and it will match the decor of either his home office or the one at Townsend-North.

Turning it over in his hands, his lips curve upward as he studies the photos I’d chosen. Five of us together over the last few weeks. Three of them from Vienna that we had asked locals to take of us. One at an outdoor café where we were bundled in coats, hats, and scarves as we drank Viennese coffee by the Danube. One outside the State Opera House before we went inside, dressed elegantly and Beck’s arm around my waist. And one a selfie we’d taken while we waited at the airport for our return flight home. The other two were taken here in San Francisco. One by Caroline at Thanksgiving dinner, when Beck pulled me up from the table and onto his lap after we’d finished eating. He’s grinning at the camera and I’m looking slightly embarrassed by his display of affection in front of his sister, but I love this photo because it shows hope in my eyes.

The last photo is a surprise to Beck. He’s never seen it before, but I took it lying in his bed one morning while he was still asleep. He was on his back, his face looking so peaceful that I couldn’t resist grabbing my iPhone and snuggling in close to him. With my face tilted upward, I placed my lips against his jaw and gave him a soft kiss while he slept.