“Will you give me more?” Kelly whispered.

Nick let out his pent-up breath and closed his eyes, shaking his head. Something akin to terror streaked through him, followed swiftly by lust. Giving Kelly more would mean ramifications neither of them could deal with. It would mean altering the state of their friendship, risking it, and for what?

“I’m not under the influence anymore. Much. Even if I was, I’ve done things way worse than you that I’ve never regretted.”

Nick barked a laugh, and they both began to chuckle. Suddenly the tension was gone again and it was just the Devil Doc in bed with him once more. Kelly reached across the space between them and brushed his fingers over Nick’s knuckles. A scar on the back of Nick’s hand still displayed the tiny railroad tracks where Kelly had stitched a gash in the field. He ran his fingers across it. There were half a dozen other places on Nick’s body that he’d stitched up over the years. Nick knew his hands well. He’d never seen them as anything but healing hands, though, not until the moment Kelly’s fingers had clutched at his shirt and pulled him closer as they’d kissed.

“Do you want to?” Kelly asked.

“Yes, but . . .” Nick splayed his fingers, and Kelly’s twined with them, grasping his hand. Kelly gave his fingers a tug and Nick slid across the inches between them. Their lips met, and once again it stole Nick’s breath from his lungs, sped his heart until his ears buzzed, flushed his body with ice and fire. Kelly pulled his hand loose and grabbed Nick’s elbow, pulling at it until he was able to get his hand under the sleeve and against Nick’s skin.

“How’s this work?” Kelly gasped. His lips moved against Nick’s, and Nick groaned.

“It doesn’t work at all. You can’t even roll over by yourself.”

He reached around Kelly and pushed at the pillows he’d been so careful to arrange, then he wrapped his arm around him and dragged him close enough to press against him. They’d shared a bed hundreds of times, and more often than not they’d woken up cuddling. Kelly somehow always managed to end up the big spoon. Maybe they could keep this within the realm of something they understood. Maybe.

“You saying you can’t handle that?” Kelly needled, grinning.

Nick could see that grin in the moonlight, had seen that grin a thousand times before. Now, though, he wanted to wipe it away with another kiss. Jesus, if they didn’t do something about this now, it was going to linger.

He pushed Kelly flat, then reached across him and flipped the lamp on so he could see Kelly’s face more clearly. Kelly groaned as his erection rubbed against Nick’s thigh. The teasing smile disappeared.

“God, that feels weird,” Kelly huffed.

“Say the word and I’ll stop,” Nick grunted, although he was silently praying Kelly would do no such thing. He would never be able to look at Kelly’s hands the same way again, but at least this way they might get it out of their systems.

Kelly shifted his shoulders, staring at Nick with wide eyes. Nick had him pinned to the mattress. One of Kelly’s hands had found its way all the way under Nick’s shirt to drag down the giant eagle, globe, and anchor tattoo on Nick’s shoulder, and he’d thrown one foot over Nick’s calf as their legs tangled together. They were both hard.

“It feels good,” Kelly finally whispered, sounding surprised. “Will it hurt?”

“I’m not going to fuck you, Kels.”

“Why not?”

“Because you’re hurt and I get rough.”

Kelly swallowed hard, his breath quickening. “How rough?”

Nick cocked his head and smiled slowly.

“That’s kind of hot.”

Nick stretched out over him and kissed him, careful not to rest his full weight on him, eliciting a louder groan from Kelly. He shifted until he could feel Kelly’s erection against his through his boxers.

“Jesus, Nick,” Kelly gasped, finally dropping the humor in his voice. He pushed at Nick’s shirt. “Lose some of this.”

Nick shoved up and tugged at his shirt with his free hand, yanking it over his head and throwing it aside. Kelly ran his hand up Nick’s chest, fingers barely grazing, tentative. He was an odd mixture of bold and uncertain. Nick didn’t know why that turned him on, but it did. He’d never been with anyone for their first time. He’d certainly never been with a friend. Oh God, this was probably a bad idea. But something about it felt like a great idea as Kelly met his eyes, and Nick couldn’t deny him anything in that moment.

“Go ahead,” Nick grunted.

Kelly laughed again, his body relaxing even more. He dragged his fingers along the muscles of Nick’s abdomen, never taking his eyes off Nick’s. Nick fought to regulate his breathing, but it was getting difficult. He gasped when Kelly’s hand dipped under the elastic of his boxers, and he lowered himself to nip at Kelly’s lips.

“Seriously, how rough are you?” Kelly asked, his voice husky.

“When you get healed up, maybe I’ll show you.”

Kelly’s breaths came harder and faster. “Can you show me a little?”

Nick laughed, kissing Kelly one more time before he got to his hands and knees. Kelly shoved at his boxers, pushing them down to his thighs. With the material out of the way, his fingers dragged back across Nick’s hips and up his ribs.

Nick hovered over him, meeting his eyes and trying to read just how serious he was. Kelly was the same person who’d insisted it would be fun to BASE jump the Grand Canyon and had begged Nick to go with him to Nicaragua to go volcano boarding. He never thought things through to their natural end. That was Nick’s job. “Reaching the point of no return on this.”

“I’ve been awake for an hour, Nick. Couldn’t stop thinking about it.”

Nick’s breath caught. Kelly’d been lying awake thinking about this. Thinking about him. Any reservations that had remained went out the window with that. Nick shoved away from him so he could tug his sleep bottoms down for him. He didn’t even try to get the pants all the way off, just pulled them to Kelly’s knees before bending his head to place a kiss at Kelly’s hip.

Kelly’s entire body jerked and he gasped, reaching down to grab a handful of Nick’s hair. Nick glanced up and grinned as he met Kelly’s eyes. Kelly was watching him, biting his tongue. Nick ducked his head to lick at him, but Kelly’s hand in his hair stopped him. His nerves tumbled, and Nick looked up again, expecting to see indecision on Kelly’s face. Instead, Kelly was smiling.

“Better make it good,” Kelly drawled. “No pressure.”

Nick grunted at him. Yeah. He did need to make it good. In case this was the only chance Kelly gave him. And in case it wasn’t . . .

“And no biting!”

“You have more rules than the Marine Corps,” Nick mumbled. “Shut up.”

To make his point, he dragged his teeth across Kelly’s hip bone and bit down. Kelly was still squirming and cussing at him when Nick took his cock into his mouth and all the way to the back of his throat in one swift motion.

“Holy Jesus!” Kelly cried, and his other hand landed on Nick’s shoulder. The sound of the slap echoed off the loft’s sloped ceiling. Nick raised his head slowly, letting Kelly’s cock slide between his lips, curling his tongue around the head before he licked at the tip one last time and looked up at Kelly again.

Kelly wasn’t smiling anymore. “You can bite,” he gasped as he began to kick out of his pajama bottoms. “You can do whatever the fuck you want to.”

“Good to know,” Nick purred, smirking. “What I want to do isn’t really on the table yet.”

Kelly’s chest heaved with the deep breaths he was taking. Nick slid a hand under his thigh and raised his leg, remembering to be careful as he hefted it onto his shoulder. He bent his head and licked at the crease of Kelly’s thigh. They shared a grin, and Kelly began to chuckle.

“I remember sharing a wall with you, O’Flaherty. I know how dirty you are.”

Nick nodded and licked at the head of his cock, sucking it into his mouth. He sucked until Kelly’s hand tightened in his hair again, then he forced Kelly’s cock to the back of his throat and swallowed around it. Kelly shouted, starting to cuss and call Nick names he usually only heard when they were playing paintball.

He sucked Kelly up and down one last time and then pushed at his leg, rolling Kelly’s hips back. He licked at his balls and then moved his lips over them, massaging them, humming as he did it. Kelly’s leg began to tighten over his shoulder, and Nick took the cue and sucked one of his balls into his mouth.

“Son of a bitch! Fuck! How are you doing that?”

Nick hummed in response, and Kelly began to writhe. He twisted, his heel digging into Nick’s spine, his hand pulling Nick’s hair hard enough that Nick raised his head. He grabbed Kelly’s wrist and jerked it away from his hair, pinning it to the mattress beside Kelly’s hip.

“Tell me to stop if you need to,” he growled. “But don’t pull my fucking hair out.”

Kelly nodded fervently.

Nick began to stroke his cock, using the hand he had wrapped around Kelly’s thigh. He sucked on his finger as Kelly watched him from under lowered lashes.

“This gonna hurt?” Kelly asked.

“I won’t hurt you,” Nick whispered. He pressed his wet finger against the muscles around Kelly’s asshole, not hard enough to enter him, just to let him feel something there.

Kelly’s heel dug into his back. His fingers clutched at the sheet beside him. “God, that feels weird!”

Nick shook his head and dragged his palm over Kelly’s thigh. “You are way too tense for that,” he muttered.

He let Kelly’s leg slide down his arm, then he crawled up Kelly’s body, sliding his cock against Kelly’s leg, careful not to settle his weight on Kelly’s abdomen.

“I’m not tense,” Kelly argued as soon as Nick was looking him in the eyes again. “I’m just trying not to fucking come all over you two seconds after you touched me. How the hell did you do the swallowing thing?”

Nick laughed, lowering himself, careful to avoid Kelly’s wound as he stretched out against his body. Kelly was shorter than him by a few inches and more compact, but he was all hard muscle and dry wit.

“You realize coming all over me is sort of what I’m going for, right?”

Kelly breathed out hard. His hand came to rest against Nick’s ribs, then dragged lower, shoving between their bodies. Nick had to push up to let him reach between them, and then Kelly’s fingers were wrapping around his cock. Nick’s breath stuttered and his eyes fell shut. He lowered his head to press his forehead against Kelly’s. Their noses smashed together. Kelly lifted his chin for a kiss, then began to stroke Nick, his lips mimicking the lazy rhythm. Nick groaned.

“You’re so fucking hot, you know that?” Kelly whispered.

“I bet you tell that to all your oldest friends as you’re jacking them off.”

Kelly snickered and arched his back, seeking contact. “No, just you.”

Nick propped himself on one elbow and sought Kelly’s cock with his other hand. Their knuckles brushed as they gripped each other. Nick thrust his hips into Kelly’s.

Kelly bit at Nick’s lip, smiling. “You remember that trip to San Diego when we shared a hotel room and you hooked up with that freaky blonde?”

Nick grunted, nodding. “Odd time to bring it up.”

“I watched you,” Kelly admitted, closing his eyes. “Whenever I need to get off, I think about that night. I always thought it was the girl, but now I’m thinking maybe . . .”

“You’re thinking way too much,” Nick snarled. He didn’t want to hear that, no matter how much the implications made his stomach flutter or his heart race. He grabbed Kelly’s hands and slammed both into the mattress, holding him by his wrists. He thrust his hips, sliding his leaking cock along Kelly’s. “What you should be thinking about is wrapping your legs around me,” he said against Kelly’s lips before kissing him. He licked at Kelly’s teeth and then sucked on his tongue.

Kelly groaned and absently tried to pull both knees up. He cursed in frustration when he couldn’t manage it, and Nick fumbled at his side to help him. Kelly nodded almost frantically, and Nick helped him to move and slide his feet over Nick’s thighs.

Nick continued to rut against him, pressing down hard, cocks sliding, balls pressing together. It would be so easy in this position to just put the head of his cock against Kelly’s ass and shove himself in. That was good to know for next time.

“Now you should be thinking about me fucking you,” he hissed. “Because I sure as hell am.”

“Oh God,” Kelly breathed.

“No, you don’t say his name when I fuck you. You say mine.”

Kelly responded with an inarticulate gasp.

Nick shoved his hips hard against Kelly’s, their cocks both leaking, gliding against sweaty muscles. He put his lips against Kelly’s ear. “Are you thinking about me inside you?”

Kelly grunted and shuddered. “Fuck yes.”

“That’s all you should be thinking, you understand?”

Kelly nodded jerkily. Nick released one of his hands and dragged his palm up Kelly’s neck and chin, shoving one finger into his mouth. Kelly moaned and sucked it in, wrapping his tongue around it and covering Nick’s finger in saliva. He seemed to instinctively know what Nick intended to do, and he obliged.

Nick reached between them and used his slick finger to push at those stubborn muscles again, this time forcing the blunt tip past them.