“We’ll save that for another day. He couldn’t make it to the wedding. He and my stepmother are in Florida, taking a long vacation. He just retired,” Shade explained to Lily. “Why don’t you take Penni into the kitchen and let her see everyone while I go get changed.” He didn’t need more of the lies he had spilled to Penni unraveling like the one he had used to prevent her from running to Penni when she had first come to the clubhouse.

The girls continued talking as they made their way to the kitchen, and Shade went to change out of his uncomfortable suit.

When Shade came back down, everyone was together in the kitchen. They spent the next hour eating and talking, and Shade found out Penni’s boss had connections to the Predators, the club which had come through town and Lily had acted friendly with after they had helped her when Gaige had gone after her at the fair.

Shade put his foot down and demanded Penni to stay away from them, but he could tell she was hiding something from him about them. Their bickering about it continued for some time and then settled down as everyone talked throughout the rest of dinner. When the meal was over, the women left to go to Christmas Eve service while the men got busy.

Chapter 66

“We finally done?” Knox asked, coming in the kitchen door to see the brothers all sitting around.

“Yeah, we’re done.” Shade tossed him a beer as he leaned against the kitchen counter.

They had just finished hauling his bedroom set from the basement to his new house. He was going to surprise Lily when she returned from Christmas Eve service.

Shade smiled.

“Damn, I don’t even want to know what he’s thinking about,” Train told Viper.

“Can I help it if I’m in a good mood on my wedding day?” Shade asked.

“Fuck no. I just wished it would last,” Train laughed.

“About as long as you lasted with Killyama?”

Train’s laughter died abruptly. “What in the hell do you mean by that?”

“Stud told me when I called to invite them all to the wedding that Killyama has been telling anyone who will listen that”—Shade had to smother his laughter—“you’re a little quick on the draw.”

Train stood so fast his chair fell backward. “That bitch! I’ll show her how long I can last. Next time I fuck her, I’m going to make her beg me for twenty minutes before I let her come.”

Viper pushed him back down in his chair after picking it up. “You aren’t going anywhere. I’m not starting a war with the Destructors and The Blue Horsemen just because you can’t perform,” Viper joked, sitting down next to Train.

“Oh, he performed, just not long enough,” Shade reminded Viper helpfully.

Train turned red, clenching his fists on the table. “I’m going to pay her back some way,” he promised.

“Brother, I don’t think you’re up to the job,” Knox joked.

Train went for Knox, having enough of the kidding, but Viper and Shade held him back as the women returned. Train sat sulkily back down at the table, drinking his beer.

Shade looked for Lily and didn’t see her.

Beth came in the kitchen, wrapping her arms around Razer from behind.

“Where’s Lily?” Shade asked her.

Beth nodded out the backdoor. “She wanted to go for a walk before she came inside. Shade, Georgia gave her a hard time at church tonight.” Shade started to question her, but Beth raised her hand. “Lily handled it. She had Georgia running out of the church.”

“She’s fired,” Razer snarled before Shade could.

“I’m not going to argue—Georgia stepped over the line tonight—but, Shade, I don’t think that’s all that’s bothering Lily. When we were in my car today, she asked the women who the worst one in the club was.” Beth looked toward Train. “She thought it was Train, but she figured out it was you.”

The women in the room looked guiltily away from him.

Shade nodded, going toward the door. “Thanks, Beth. I’ll handle it.

“See, Lily knows I can last a long time. I’ll get her to tell those bitches the truth—” Train broke off when Shade turned back to stare at him.

Train hastily changed his mind when he saw Shade’s expression. “Then again, maybe I won’t.”

Shade went out the backdoor.

“I told you his good mood wasn’t going to last,” Train muttered.

* * *

Shade found Lily leaning against the front porch post of their house, staring out at the mountains.

“Why are you out here?” Shade asked, coming to the bottom of the steps, looking up at her.

“You couldn’t have picked a better spot for your home. The view is … perfect. When I stand here from this viewpoint, I feel like I could reach out and touch the sky. It sounds silly, but it’s so high here I think God might hear me a little better.”

She gave him wry smile. “When I was a little girl, I would pray and pray at night. My real mother wasn’t much of a church-goer. If it wasn’t for my friends, I wouldn’t even have known there was a God. They told me about Him. My mother didn’t believe, explaining as much to me.”

“Lily, stop. I told you, not today. Not on our wedding day,” Shade begged her. He didn’t want her dream day spoiled with nightmares from her past.

“I have to tell you today, Shade. Today’s the day you made me your wife.” Her arms circled the post she was leaning against.

Shade wanted her to lean on him for the strength she needed, but he remained at the bottom of the steps, sensing her need to talk. She thought he didn’t know the woman he had married; however, he had known from the first time he had looked in her eyes.

“I didn’t know what a daddy was, so my friends tried to explain it to me. When they told me, I started crying because I wanted one. I didn’t have a lot—no dolls or toys—but I never cried for those. But when they told me what a daddy was, I really wanted one of those. My friends didn’t know what to do, but then one of them ran into her apartment and came out with a Bible, and they told me about God, how He was everyone’s Father. I would talk to Him whenever … whenever I needed Him. I don’t know if He could hear me. I don’t think I was close enough.

“That’s why I love the mountains. I feel closer to God. When I came to the mountains, He gave me parents who loved me. He gave me Beth, and He gave me you, Shade. My husband.

“Do you know why I didn’t want to have sex with my husband before I married? Because I wanted it to be clean and new, because I’m dirty, unclean—”

“Don’t you ever fucking say that again!” Shade’s foot came up on the first step.

“It’s the truth, Shade. I’ve slept with more men than any woman in that house, and you deserve to know that. I can’t give you my virginity; I lost it long ago and everything else from that life that I forgot until Halloween night.”

“I wish you had never remembered.” Shade’s voice held all the anguish he felt at what she had lived through.

“I don’t. It was destroying me, Shade.”

“There was nothing worth remembering.”