“You would.”

“I think I’d like that, a lot. But the pencil skirt uniform might create some embarrassing problems.”

Dax drops me off at my place in the early afternoon on Sunday. He invites me for dinner but I blew off Holly this morning for our standing brunch date, so I’m making up for it with an early dinner. I also need an Epsom salt bath and a little space after such an intense weekend.

I squeeze in a short bath before I pick Holly up and drive us to the market. My thighs are tight, my calves ache, and even the arches of my feet are sore, possibly from all the toe curling.

“How was the conference?” Holly asks as we grab coffees and stroll along the promenade. The funky little shops remind me of my mom. When I was young we’d come to the market, or hit all the garage sales on the weekend in search of hidden treasures. My house is an eclectic mix of art pieces scavenged from various sales over the years. None of my plates and cups match, because they’re more of the same, items purchased during adventures with Holly or my parents. My house is where I let my nostalgia hang out. Although I do keep useful memorabilia at work in the form of mugs.

“It was good. I ran into a few old classmates, caught up a bit.”

“And how was Daxton?” Holly isn’t much of one for beating around the bush, and I already told her he was going to be there. Until now I haven’t mentioned the progression from enemies to friends to lovers, but I can’t keep this to myself anymore.

“Kailyn?” she prompts when I don’t answer right away. “What’s going on between you two?”

“We slept together.”

She comes to a halt in the middle of the street. “I’m sorry, can you repeat that? I swear you said you slept with him, but I must’ve heard that incorrectly.”

A few people glance our way. “Keep it down!”

“None of these people know you, and I’m sure most of them would applaud you for sleeping with a hot former actor.” Holly threads her arm through mine and leads me away from the thick crowd, down a side street. “I don’t know what to say. Is this like a cathartic hate fuck, or what?”

“Uhh . . . I think it falls more into the ‘or what’ category.”

Holly gives me a pensive look before she asks, “Is he any good?”

“Are sloths slow?”

“Want to rate him for me? Like on a scale of Jason Momoa to Ryan Reynolds, where would he be?”

“I had multiple orgasms.”

She stops and grabs me by the shoulders, eyes wide. “No.”

“Multiple orgasms, multiple times.”

Holly hugs me. “My God. You need to keep him forever.”

I laugh, but my stomach drops, because I have no idea where this thing is going with us, not just with Dax, but with everything surrounding him.

Holly steps back. “I need to know more, and I think we need alcohol.”

Dax and I were like college kids with the sex and the drinking this weekend, but I might need a little something to calm my nerves. Confiding in Holly is necessary, but it also means I have to face the truth, and I’m not sure I’ll like it.

We find a little pub and hole ourselves up in the back corner.

“So multiple multiples, huh?” Holly asks after we’ve ordered drinks and appetizers.

“Yup.” I fiddle with my napkin, the flush in my cheeks echoed in other parts of my body.

“Is he like—” She makes some hand motions and I realize she’s asking about size.

“Everything is very proportional.”

“Nice.”

The server drops off our drinks, and Holly waits until she’s gone before she raises her glass. “To multiple multiples and being proportional.”

I clink my glass against hers and chuckle. My phone buzzes on the table. It’s Emme. “I need to check this.”

It’s a few pictures from the weekend. The last one is a selfie of Emme making a ridiculous face, thumbing over her shoulder. In the background is Dax, head tipped back, mouth hanging open, fast asleep on the couch. I message back that I’m out with a friend and that she should probably let her brother sleep.

“Sorry about that.” I slip my phone into my purse.

Holly regards me with wary curiosity. “So apart from sleeping together this weekend, what’s going on with you and Dax? Is this just a casual thing?”

I focus on my drink. “I don’t know.”

“Aren’t you trying to get him to come over to your firm? How are you going to sleep with him and work with him?”

I bite my thumbnail. The nagging worries I’ve been hiding from since this entire thing started with Dax envelop me like a cold fog. “I haven’t really figured that out yet.”

“Well, don’t you think you should?” Her voice is laced with concern. “What’re you doing?”

“It just happened.” I can’t believe I just said those words to my childhood best friend.

She leans back in her chair and crosses her arms over her chest. “Oh no. Things don’t just happen with you. You can’t tell me you haven’t thought about all of the potential repercussions before you fell into bed with him. Is it unethical for you to be sleeping with him?”

“Technically, no, since Dax isn’t my client. I’m sleeping with my client’s brother, so maybe it’s morally ambiguous, but it’s not unethical.”

“Is there a but in there somewhere that I missed?”

“There’s no but. I just didn’t expect to feel this way about him,” I admit.

“And how do you feel about him?”

“I like him.”

I get another raised eyebrow from her. “You like him?”

“A lot.”

Holly sighs. “Do you mean you like the nostalgia of your teen crush?”

“The crush died at the end of law school. This isn’t based on the past, Holls. I like him, who he is as a person, the things that make him who he is, the guy who calls me up on a Friday night for Aisle of Red advice and then walks around with a box of incontinence products because he doesn’t know any better. The guy who sends me flowers and funky pens because he knows I like them. He’s different.”

Our appetizers arrive and we once again wait for the server to leave before we resume the conversation.

“I know it’s a complicated situation,” I admit.

“Does his sister know there’s something going on between you two?”

I shake my head. “Of course not.”

“So she thinks you’re friends? Kailyn, this isn’t just about liking some guy who’s good in the sack. He comes with baggage, the heavy kind.”

“I know that.”

“He’s suffered a huge trauma. You can’t walk into this without weighing all of the consequences.”

“I know that, too.”

“Do you? Because it doesn’t seem like you’re considering very carefully what the fallout of this could be. Are you prepared to be a mother to a thirteen-year-old? Because that’s exactly what you’re signing on for with this.”

Each point she makes feels like a stab of reality I don’t want to acknowledge. “I can’t replace Emme’s mother.”

“No, you can’t, but she’s going to be looking for someone to fill that role, and that’s exactly what you’ll be to her by getting involved with Dax. You’re not even thirty, and you’ll be taking on an orphaned teenager. It’s not an easy road. You know this, Kay.”

“Believe me, I get it better than anyone else. It’s why we’re keeping it just between me and Dax for now.”

“Come on, Kay. It goes way beyond that, doesn’t it? How long is the secrecy going to last? I get that you like this guy, but he’s grieving, too. I’m worried about who’s going to end up hurt in all of this. Does he even know why you’re pushing to get him to come to your firm? How’s he going to feel if he makes the switch and all of a sudden you make partner?”

I press my fingers to my lips, my panic turning into real fear. “I don’t know if that’s what I want anymore.”

“I think you need to figure that out. More than one person’s heart could end up broken here. Dax needs support, and I’m concerned you’re caught up in being his savoir. And if you end up working together, too, it adds another layer of complication.”

I know all of this. I knew it before I spent the weekend with him, but hearing it from someone else makes it so much more real. And it’s the reason I haven’t said anything until now.

“It’s the first time I’ve really connected with another person in a long time. It feels good to be needed by someone, to take care of someone else emotionally and feel like I’m being taken care of, too. Does that make any sense at all?”

“Of course it does. You took care of your mom when she was sick, you took care of your dad after she passed, and then he died, too, and you’ve put everything into being the best trust lawyer in the state. Maybe you want to save other families from struggling financially like you have when there’s already emotional turmoil. And now you’re taking on these pro bono custody cases for me. The security thing makes sense, and Dax . . . he’s suffering and you’re familiar with what that looks and feels like. He also represents so many good things from your childhood that you want to hold on to.”