Because I can’t fucking lose her.

I just can’t.

When the song ends, I look up and grin as she changes the tempo with a hit of her foot. A fast beat starts very softly in the background. I know that beat, it’s ingrained in my head and I’ll never forget it. With her eyes on me, she starts the chords to what I know is our baby’s song, “Heartbeat.” While my song was my favorite before, this one just hits me straight in the gut. It’s perfect and the words… Jesus, they are just awe-inspiring.

As her eyes close and she sings, her voice making the song a billion times better, I watch her. I can’t believe that is my wife. The rest of my existence. I can’t see my baby, the little bump that grows every day, but I don’t need to see it to know it’s there.

His eyes.

My smile.

What will you have?

Will you ever realize how much we love you?

How we couldn’t ever lose you?

That you make life worth living.

Closing my eyes, I slowly nod my head as she sings, her voice hitting me in the soul. Each word holds a certain kind of promise. A promise that our child will hold in its heart for the rest of its life. I haven’t heard the song completely put together like this yet, and it’s beautiful. So damn perfect, and I can’t wait until the moment she sings it to our baby.

As our eyes meet, hers misty with tears, I smile.

Because I think I just fell in love with her all over again.

When Avery pulls up beside me in front of our new apartment, she flashes me a bright grin as I pull open her door. She hasn’t seen the apartment yet; she doesn’t even know I’ve had the keys for the last three days. I want to surprise her, and I know it might be silly, but I’m excited for her to see home Lucy made for us.

“It’s a big building,” she says as I take her bag. “Should I have gone and gotten my stuff?”

I shake my head, shutting her door and reaching for her hand. “Later. Let’s go check it out.”

“Eek! I’m excited!”

I can tell. She’s trembling and so am I. I hope I don’t give away the surprise because I’m so excited. This is our home. Our first place together, and for some reason, that means a lot to me. Is it perfect? Hell no, it’s small. Thankfully we don’t have a baby yet because I’m really not sure how all of us could fit, but it works. It’s ours. Plus, we aren’t sharing it with anyone and there aren’t twenty other guys being loud and stinking it up. It’s ours. Mine and hers.

As we head up the first set of stairs, she’s all smiles as she asks, “How did you like my set?”

“Awesome as always,” I say with a grin. “I really love the baby’s song.”

“Doesn’t it sound awesome? I love it so hard. I can’t wait to sing it at the showcase.”

“Me either.”

“Stu thinks it will sell quick.”

“I agree.”

“I think I want to buy you a new car with my first check, if it does well,” she says, trailing off, and I smile.

“You don’t have to.”

“I want to,” she says, leaning into me. “I want to give you something for a change.”

“You give me something every day.”

She throws me a look and shakes her head. “Aren’t we done with Lame Line Larry? We are married now. Don’t need the lines.”

“They aren’t lines,” I laugh, pinning her with a look. “It’s the truth.”

She grins as she bounces on the balls of her feet, a pleased look on her face as we come to a stop in front of our door. Pulling the keys out, I unlock it and push the door open.

“Welcome home,” I say and she flashes a wide grin as I hit the lights and she goes in. Standing in the doorway, I wait as she looks around, taking in all the awesome things Lucy did. She let me rent all her staging furniture, so the apartment is fully furnished. It’s a little classier than anything I would actually have, but she was convinced Avery would love it.

But when Avery looks back at me, her brows pulled together and her face twisted, my heart sinks. “You don’t like it?”

She shakes her head. “No, I love it. But I didn’t think it would come furnished and especially not with awesome stuff like this.”

I smile. “Lucy did it.”

Her face breaks into a grin. “She did?”

“Yeah, as a housewarming gift. Also, we owe her babysitting for the renting of the furniture, but look,” I say, shutting the door and pulling her through the living room.

“My guitar is here?” she asks, pointing to the corner where it sits, and I nod.

“I had Mekena bring over all your stuff.”

“Really?” she gushes as I pause by the wall between the kitchen and living room. I look up and a big canvas picture of the day we got married looks back at us. I love this picture. We’ve been married for a little over a month now and it’s still my wallpaper on my phone and computer. I glance over at her, and she’s covering her mouth as she takes it in. “We looked so busted that day.”

I laugh, nodding as I snake my arm around her waist. “But we are still hot.”

“This is true,” she says, kissing my cheek before turning and taking it all in. We weren’t allowed to paint, so the walls are still a pale gray, but the furniture is so full of color that it kind of doesn’t matter. The kitchen is small, really only appliances and one counter, but Lucy still dressed it up, putting little touches of us all over the house.

“How many bedrooms?”

“Just two, with a bathroom and closet between them.” I take her hand and bring her to the first bedroom, which is our room. A huge bed sits in the middle with pictures of us all over the walls, but when I glance at her, she isn’t looking at the walls, but at the bed.

“That’s one big bed,” she says with a wink and I grin.

“Yup, lots of room to lie in.”

“That and to do the naughty with no one walking in on us.”

“Thank God.”

Leaning into me, she waggles her eyebrows at me. “Wanna break it in?”

I laugh as I take her into my arms, kissing her nose and then the side of her mouth as she presses into me. Looking up at me, she runs her finger down my jaw and then my throat before going up on her toes to kiss me softly on my lips. Pulling only a breath away, she whispers, “This is amazing.”