Fox Forever Page 79

“Yes,” Raine whispers.

The creases fanning out from the corners of Miesha’s eyes deepen and her lower lip trembles. I watch the sixteen years that she missed with her own child race through her eyes, precious years that she can never get back and for the first time I think it’s possible for her sixteen lost years to be far more than the 260 that were lost to me.

Miesha bites her lip to stop its trembling, and her head tilts to the side slightly. “May I—” She blinks, trying to force back tears, but one trickles from the corner of her eye anyway. “May I hold you?” she asks.

Raine nods, and Miesha leans forward, holding her daughter for the first time since she was a baby cradled in her arms, her shoulders shaking, her eyes squeezing shut. Raine’s eyes close too, her lashes wet. I watch her fingers curl into Miesha’s sweater, at last gripping the mother she searched for in her late-night walks.

I look at Karden, and even for someone as wiry and tough and self-disciplined as he is, someone who has survived years of isolation and who knows what else, this proves too much for even him and he looks away, tears flowing down his cheeks.

Xavier appears in the doorway and knocks softly on the wall. “Sorry,” he whispers. “But their car is here. It’s not safe for them to linger too long.”

Time. It seems there’s always too much. Or not enough. But we know we have to deal with what we have.

Miesha seems to understand this too. We explain to her where we’re going. A safe house in New York. It’s a good town to get lost in for a while. And we need to get good and lost, at least until the money can start helping us, opening some doors and closing others. Plus, there’s someone else there, someone who needs a Favor. Xavier’s promised me it’s nothing of the magnitude of this last Favor, just enough to keep me “out of trouble,” as he describes it. Karden will be staying here and recovering until he’s better able to travel. It’s not safe for him to stay in Boston either.

We walk outside and Xavier points to a narrow place between two buildings where a truck is wedged, almost hidden from view. The plumbing truck. “One last thing before you go. We need to do something with them. Did you decide?”

I think I decided almost the minute I saw them. I just needed to be able to do it myself. I finally understood Jenna’s long-ago actions in that moment, knowing why she threw our copies in the pond. Until we face an impossible decision ourselves, we don’t ever really know for sure what we would do. I know now. A life gets one chance, maybe two if we’re lucky, but a hundred chances reduces what is precious to a product—a product whose only purpose for existence is to replace that which is lost.

Not everything can be replaced. Kara’s gone. If anything’s left, it’s only her shell, the one Gatsbro tried unsuccessfully to fill and use for his own greedy purposes. No one will have that chance again.

One by one, I disconnect the cubes from their battery docks and pass them to Xavier, and others who quietly offer their help, and they take them to the bonfire. Cube after cube labeled with LOCKE or with KARA, a hundred Lockes, a hundred Karas, one by one, gone. No more wandering through an endless, timeless void. No more searching for doors that don’t exist. Finally, I come to the last cube, but it’s labeled differently from the rest.

Gerald Gatsbro.

My blood runs cold and I hesitate. Xavier waits, his hand outstretched, ready to carry it off with the others. I stare at the cube, a second chance to give Gatsbro what he deserves. I’m inclined to keep it, walk away to one of the many abandoned buildings that surround us and tuck it away into a dark corner. Leave it there. Let it sit for centuries. Or longer.

Raine appears at the rear of the truck. “Locke, are you okay?”

I inhale sharply, focusing on her face, her eyes bright, ready to leave her past behind. I look back at the cube, my last chance for revenge for everything he did to me and especially to Kara. “Yes,” I answer. “I’m fine.” I disconnect Gatsbro’s cube and hand it to Xavier.

The copies are finally all gone, their journey over, and now only one Locke remains, the Locke reaching for Raine’s hand, ready to begin a new journey.

We walk across the courtyard to the car the Network has given us for our Escape, a beat-up wreck but still an extravagance by Non-pact standards. Xavier shows me the basics. I tell him that I never learned to drive, but he assures me there’s nothing to learn. The car will do it all. “But if you ever need to break the rules—and I have no doubt that you will—a simple Override command will take care of it.”

I see the weight in Xavier’s eyes. He had tried to talk me out of taking Raine. This isn’t a life she’s used to, he had told me. There are other places we can hide her. What he doesn’t know is it’s not a life I was used to just a short time ago either. But life changes. We adapt. We have no other choice.

He tries to reason with me one last time. “Are you sure you want to take her? It’s not going to be an easy life on the—”

Miesha steps forward, tucking a strand of hair behind Raine’s ear, worry in her eyes too. “She’ll be fine,” she says. “She’s a strong young woman.”

Raine smiles. I know it’s hard for her to say good-bye too. A relationship barely begun will have to wait again. She reaches out, this time initiating her own embrace with Miesha.

Karden reaches into his pocket and holds out his Swiss knife to me. “I hear it’s gotten you out of a few scrapes. Take it,” he says. I look into his eyes, dark and deep like Raine’s, the fire and focus still there, never giving up. I reach out to take it from him and he grips my hand with both of his, squeezing it hard, his gaze locked on mine, an understanding. A nod. A silent thank you.

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