Covet Page 38

Tessa’s heart had sunk a bit more with each word he’d uttered, especially since she had known them to be true. Their physical relationship was as messed up as ever, barely existent, and certainly not in the least bit fulfilling or satisfying for her. The only times she’d ever had an orgasm had been by her own hand, most often after one of the erotic dreams that still came to her every so often. She tried to convince herself that none of that mattered, that there were other facets to a relationship and a marriage besides sex. She and Peter got along in a lot of other ways, were best friends, and she cherished his friendship, guidance, and support more than she could properly express. He was the only constant in her life, the only person she’d ever truly been able to depend on, and the thought of him leaving for good terrified her beyond words.

But Peter’s last words had filled her with renewed hope, and she’d jumped on them immediately.

“You’ve helped me so much these past few years, Peter,” she’d told him earnestly. “Let me try and repay some of what you’ve done by going with you to San Francisco. You know you won’t be able to afford a place of your own without me, and can you really bear the thought of sharing a rental with three or four other people? Who knows,” she’d joked rather feebly, “it might be worse than the place we shared with the party animals.”

Peter had shuddered and given a weak laugh in response. “I don’t think anyplace could be worse than that,” he’d retorted wryly. “But – maybe. Let me think on it for a couple of days, Tess. Okay? But you need to start coming to grips with the fact that this has to end sooner than later. You need to finally start living, and I – well, I need to stop feeling like a failure.”

In the end, Peter had somewhat reluctantly agreed to let her make the move with him, acknowledging that it would be better for Tessa in the long run to get used to living on her own gradually rather than all at once. She would have that sort of opportunity during his lengthy business trips, when he would be traveling through Cambodia or the Philippines or Indonesia for weeks at a time. She’d get settled into her new job, make new friends, and adjust to living in San Francisco before she had to adjust to living permanently without her husband.

But she could tell now that all of Peter’s doubts were returning, given her rather dismayed reaction upon seeing the tiny apartment he’d found for them. Tessa fixed a determined smile on her face and gave a little shrug. “Hey, I’ve certainly lived in worse places in my life,” she remarked with a feigned casualness. “Smaller ones, too. It’s going to be an adjustment, that’s for sure, but I’m excited about making this move, Peter. And about living in this city.”

Tessa had honestly not known what to expect when she’d arrived in San Francisco for the first time. She and Peter had driven up here in a rented U-Haul truck tightly packed with all of their belongings, a truck that was parked right outside the aging apartment building at this moment. But what she had seen so far of this bustling, almost frantically energized city, had fascinated her – albeit in an odd, rather shocking manner. Everything was so different than the sprawling desert communities she had always lived in, but those differences were intriguing, exciting, stimulating.

Peter gazed at her in concern. “You’re really sure?” he asked worriedly. “I mean, our place back in Tucson was almost twice this size, and a whole lot newer. We don’t even have a dishwasher here or a balcony, and we’re going to be bumping into furniture every time we move.”

She didn’t want to admit that she’d been thinking the exact same things, too afraid that Peter would change his mind about their arrangement and send her back to Tucson. And she couldn’t leave, couldn’t run away. Tessa had been afraid of too many things in her twenty-two years, hadn’t wanted to take chances or challenge herself. But she was tired of living in fear, of not really living at all. And she sensed that this move to San Francisco was going to change her life in a lot of ways, that she was at a crossroads in her life, and that the path she chose at this particular moment would have a ripple affect on her entire future.

So she gave Peter her brightest, most confident smile, and nodded enthusiastically. “I’m really, really sure,” she insisted. “Come on, let’s go start hauling our stuff upstairs. After all, this place also doesn’t seem to have an elevator.”

 


After working for Francine Carrington for more than three years, Tessa hadn’t honestly believed she could ever be truly intimidated by anyone ever again. The diminutive but rather terrifying woman had, after all, caused grown men to tiptoe past her office in fear, and she had made more than one receptionist or reservations clerk cry. Mrs. C. had done her damndest to “toughen” Tessa up, as she’d phrased it, and had encouraged her to stick up for herself and not allow other people or situations to daunt her.

Tessa knew that Mrs. C. and her husband Oliver were childless, but she wondered now if perhaps the man seated across from her might be related in some form or another to her former boss. Andrew Doherty was, in his own way, every bit as fearsome and intimidating as Mrs. C. had ever been, and it was all Tessa could do to keep her knees from knocking together or her hands from trembling as he studied her behind a pair of wire-rimmed glasses, She knew, just knew, that the all-too-serious brown eyes behind the lenses never missed a trick.

She was extremely grateful that the outfit she’d chosen to wear for today’s interview had been the absolute nicest thing she own. Most of her work clothes were things she’d bought from inexpensive chain stores, or from a couple of bargain priced online apparel sites. It had been Mrs. C. who’d suggested she buy a few more upscale items in anticipation of her move to San Francisco, where the overall dress code – in particular at the Gregson Group offices – was certain to be more formal and businesslike than it was in Tucson. She had steered Tessa to a consignment store, where one could find higher quality clothing at reasonable prices. Even so, Tessa hadn’t been able to afford much, but the black silk wool pencil skirt, white silk blouse, black cardigan sweater, and black pumps that she wore this morning were all far nicer than anything else in her limited wardrobe. She’d already noticed how fashionably everyone here was dressed, and how much more sophisticated the office décor was when compared to the resort-like atmosphere of the Tucson hotel.

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