When his blue-green eyes open again, they latch on to mine and the emotion shines through. Fear, love, and regret all mashed up. I’ve missed those eyes.

“Catherine …” Jackson tries to speak but it’s strained.

I lean close and press my lips against his rough cheek. The feel of his skin against mine causes my heart to race. He’s really awake and he said my name. “I’m here. Just relax,” I try to reassure him. “It’s going to be—”

Before I can finish, the doctor draws our attention to him. “Mr. Cole, I’m Dr. Allison. Welcome back. You gave us quite a scare. I’m going to look you over real quick, okay?”

Jackson nods but doesn’t try to speak again.

Dr. Allison starts assessing him. “Okay, Jackson. Your heart rate is steady and stable. Blood pressure is a little low, but it’s expected. How do you feel?” he asks.

Jackson’s strong hand wraps around mine and he gives me a small squeeze. He swallows and winces. “Water?”

“Sure, you can have a little water. I need you to tell me what you last remember,” Dr. Allison states in a no-nonsense way.

After he takes a sip, he finally speaks. “I d-don’t.” He looks around and lets out a huff. “How l-long?”

“You’ve been unconscious for eight days. Do you have any recollection of how you arrived here?”

Jackson closes his eyes and shakes his head. “I remember the HELO and the sniper.” His eyes open as he grips the blanket looking around. “Mark?”

I grasp his hand and he relaxes a little. “He’s fine. He’ll be here soon. I can call him now,” I say looking for my phone.

“No.” Jackson tightens his grip. “Am I o-okay?” He asks the doctor apprehensively.

“Your injuries were quite severe and you had a few complications during surgery. And extreme blood loss. Your body has endured an intense trauma and I want to keep a close eye on your heart.”

Jackson’s eyes close and his grip loosens a bit.

“Is he going to be okay?” I ask

“He’s young, strong, and he’s out of the coma now. He’s not out of the woods, but we’ll watch him closely,” Dr. Allison explains and looks over the monitors.

I glance at Jackson and his eyes open again. “What about my leg?” he asks with fear in his voice.

Dr. Allison turns and pats his shoulder before speaking. “The injury to your leg was a through and through, which should heal in a few weeks. The bullet that entered your abdomen caused some damage to your spleen. We were able to repair the injury and stop the bleeding. As for your shoulder, there’s some muscle damage, but we can address all that later.” He takes a break and allows Jackson a few seconds to gather his thoughts.

“Jackson, do you remember anything else?” I ask softly.

His eyes are pensive as he shakes his head. “Not much.” He clears his throat and grabs the cup to drink again.

“That’s normal,” Dr. Allison states.

Jackson’s eyes dart to me and he squints. It seems like he’s trying to remember. His fingers release mine as he rubs his face. “You shouldn’t be …” he trails off.

My heart sinks. Maybe I should’ve left a few days ago. We’re not together, things didn’t end well, and then I’m here when he wakes up. I look at the clock and realize my flight leaves in three hours. I can still make it if I leave now.

“My flight is in a few hours, I need to call the airlines.” I reach for my phone. “I’ll call everyone and give you a few minutes with the doctor.” He grabs my arm before I can turn completely.

“Don’t.” He coughs and winces. “Please,” he says, still holding my arm.

I nod while returning to his bedside. “Okay.” I’ll stay for now. It feels like it’s been so long since the fight happened. In reality it has been, but Jackson wasn’t really here and we have a lot to talk about. I don’t know where I stand, what he’s feeling, so many questions, and I’m not sure I want the answers.

Jackson returns his gaze to the doctor but doesn’t relinquish his hold on me.

Dr. Allison checks his shoulder wound and then his leg. “You need to take things easy. Rest as much as you can. You still have a long road ahead of you. I’ll be back in a little while to check on you again. Do you have any questions?”

“How long … here?” Jackson says while grimacing.

“You’ll be here at least another week. I’ll give you something for the pain. For now, we need to make sure there aren’t any further complications. If you need anything just buzz me,” Dr. Allison explains and leaves the room.

Jackson closes his eyes as the nurse inserts medicine into his IV. I try to extract my hand, but he tightens his fingers and looks at me.

Our eyes lock. “It’s going to be okay,” I say softly, trying to absorb the fact that he’s alive and okay. We gaze at each other, neither of us saying a word, yet it’s as if we’re having an entire conversation. I give him everything through this moment. Opening myself wide open so he can see all the feelings I’ve held the last two weeks. The tears stream like raging rivers down my face, but I don’t care enough to stop them. It’s grief, anger, elation, and so much more. My emotions stack up like bricks around me one by one until I feel buried. I want to breathe again. I want him to be my air.

Jackson lifts his hand and presses it against my cheek. “S-sorry,” he stutters and I lean into him. Needing to have the closeness of skin on skin. His eight-day-old beard scratches against my face, but I want to feel—remember how eight days ago his life hung in the balance and today we almost lost him.

How is it possible to love someone this much but hurt so much more? He’s taken my heart and I don’t know that I’ll ever get it back. “Do you want me to call everyone?” I ask, trying to break the silence.

“No,” he says with an air of finality. “Just you.” His eyes close and he fights to open them again.

My throat goes dry as I try to breathe. “Okay, but—”

“Don’t leave me,” he says as his lids fall.

I need to be close to him—this could be my last chance. I climb and sit on the bed facing him. My hands brush his hair back as my heart races. He steals my breath, and all the strength I have is gone. I allow the tears to fall as I’m overcome with emotion. I continue to touch his face, his hair, and he settles as his hand rests on my leg.

“Sleep. I’m not going anywhere,” I say as he tries to relax, but I can sense his unease.

“Promise?” he asks hesitantly.

“Yes, I’ll be here when you wake up.” I smile and press my lips against his cheek.

His eyes close as he drifts off to sleep.

Watching him stirs all of my fears. What if he doesn’t wake up again? What if he wakes up different than this time? The trepidation gnaws at me and embeds deep inside. I grab my phone and call Mark and his mother to let them know they should head here. Neither one answers, so I send them both messages.

“Hey,” I hear Mark come in the room behind me.

“Hi, I sent you a text message.” I place Jackson’s hand down and he stirs.